i've been developing an anxiety of weekdays. Every time Monday comes, i feel insecure and guilty. I always hope for day to end faster and night to come quickly so i don't have to feel uneasy with the day. I guess this is what happen when you have something unsettle in your mind. I am and i have it now. It's pilling up until you don't know where to go, where to start or even who to seek for the help. You can reach out for people, but at this stage I'm looking for more than people. Work hasn't progress at all, this will be the 4th week during the last time i met the supervisors. Our 'fruitful' discussions that day seems faded away slowly day by day. I vividly remember whatever discussion that we had and i haven't progress so far until now. Progression means like at least you need to have a written page at least 1, but me none.
Not even that i even procrastinate even more by doing different things. I have couple of books to be finished as well. I don't know the purpose of finishing it. Should i speed reading? Should i read each and every page of the book? I really hate myself whenever I'm not able to make any decision, be it in everything. If I'm in dilemma meaning to say my heart is not it in. When it's not in it, it shows that I'm not thinking about it seriously which lead to later stress. Stress sounds serious, how about later thinking? hahahahaha If only things can be settled and done asap. I also realised not only in work, but i feel the same with people today. Only today. i swear yesterday i was still sane and got to laugh out loud still with others.
Guess i haven't had the skill to nail it yet. Ya Rabbi, please help me in anyway you can as you can see me struggling to keep myself from being drowning. T__Y
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